Writing Sample

W.A.L.T Inform 

Success Criteria 

Done         Need To Work On

• use a range of verbs (evaporate, melt, etc.)

• use a variety of specific vocabulary (matter, solid, liquid, gas)

• add significant detail to describe each part (examples, diagram, giff)

• vary sentence starters

• organise my ideas into at least 5 paragraphs

  Draft

  

                                              
   Published Version 
  
  
  Heat And Temperature
  
  

  Did you know that heat and temperature are not the same thing? Scientifically speaking hot and cold is called thermal energy.

  
  

  The hotter something is the more thermal energy it has and the colder something is the less thermal energy it has. For an example if you go in a hot pool and then go in a cold pool you would feel colder because all the thermal energy in the pool is trying to get to the same temperature.

  
  

  The Reason we call thing hot and cold is because we compare that thermal energy with our own body temperature. 

  
  

  People use thermometers to measure temperature. When you put a thermometer outside the atoms in the mercury start to slow down and drop so the temperature is lower, outside but when you take it inside the thermal energy in the atoms start to get excited and start to move and jump up and down more so the temperature starts to rise. 

  
  

  The hotter something is the more thermal energy it has so it rises and the colder the thermal energy the lower it goes on the thermometer.

  
  
  I think that I did a good job and I would give myslef a 8 out of 10 but maybe next time I could expian about the atoms.
  
  
  Feedback I like how you explained how heat and Temaperture good
  
  
  Feedfoward you could say that was my first draft and now it is my better one to say there is not two stories
  Logan
  
  

Litercery Sample

WALT Rote learn our spelling of by heart

Why? To show a strategy to help us with our spelling words, to share during our Student Led Conference.

What? We did mnemonics to help us with our spelling.

How? By learning how to write a mnemonic so we can use them to help us with our spelling.

What I learned? That mnemonics are words using the first letters of another word to form a sentence and that helps us remember them. Eg: Said : Scott Ate Isaac's Dog

I think that I did a good job on the mnemonics but I could add a few more words but otherwise I think I did a good job and I would give myself a 9 out of 10.

Feedback Mitchell I think you did really well at explaining what you did and how you did it.

Feedforowd Maybe next time you could change the fonts and colour a little bit on you poster so people can read it more easily.

I think I will give you a 8 out of ten.

Nathanael

Writing

This is my finished peace of writing.

Caving

There was a dim glow in the gaping black hole that was waiting to sallow me up. Glow worms swarmed the walls like an army. I knew that If I was too loud they would tun of there light. I dragged my feet across the damp ground. The cave was as black as the night sky.

Russell then the perent that was in charge of caving suddenly wispered " Turn of your lights and listen." I heard a sound up on the roof. What is it? I thought. I stared up at the roof and saw 5 cave wetās looking down at me. As I passed them I came arcoss a small lake and saw the water  bubbling and swrling. Is that a fish I wondered. There in the water was a fresh water crayfish. It seemed to stare at me for a second but when I pointed my torch at it slithered away behind a rock. My foot splashed in the ice cold water of a puddle.

I squeezed pass narrow corridor of stone. I shined my light to the left and saw a low ledge then we squeezed pass another corridor of stone. Then everyone in front of me stopped Russell said that we had to crawl in the ledge of stone. Everyone started to crawl thought lf we were in an army. Every 30 seconds or so I would have to go lower. The water soaked my knees and my shoe was bursting with water. When we got out I was as wet as the ocean. We had a cookie and then Russell asked" Who wants to do that agian not the crawling bit." I raised my hand. We went back inside and and explored the dirty damp dusty cave. I found lots more cave weāts. Lots of them. Finally we got out of the cave and I felt the suns rays shine like plasma beams on my back warming it.

The End

By Mitchell Liang

Writing draft 3

Caving

There was a dim glow in the gaping black hole that was waiting to sallow me up. Glow worms(covered) swarmed the walls like an army. I knew that If I was too loud they would tun of there light. I (sarted to walk)dragged my feet across the damp ground. The cave was as black as the night sky.

Russell then the perent that was in charge of caving suddenly wispered " Turn of your lights and listen." I heard a sound up on the roof. What is it? I thought. I (looked) stared up at the roof and saw 5 cave wetās looking down at me. As I passed them I came arcoss a small lake and saw the water  bubbling and swrling. Is that a fish I wondered. There in the water was a fresh water crayfish. It seemed to stare at me for a second but when I pointed my torch at it (then it hid) slithered away behind a rock.

I squeezed pass narrow corridor of stone. I shined my light to the left and saw a low ledge then we squeezed pass another corridor of stone. Then everyone in front of me stopped Russell said that we had to crawl in the ledge of stone. Everyone started to crawl thought lf we were in an army. Every 30 seconds or so I would have to go lower.

Writing draft 2

W.A.L.T To entertain

Caving

There was a dim glow in the gaping black hole that was waiting to sallow me up. Glow worms swarmed the walls. I knew that If I was too loud they would tun of there light. I dragged my feet across the damp ground. The cave was as black as the night sky.

 I heard a sound up on the roof. What is it? I thought. I (looked) stared at the roof and saw 5 cave wetas looking down at me. As I passed them I came arcoss a small lake and saw the water  bubbling and swrling. Is that a fish I wondered. There in the water was a fresh water crayfish. It seemed to stare at me for a second but when I pointed my torch at it slithered away behind a rock.

Learnings partner's comment

Feedback I like the way you have listened to my feed foward because you have talked about what you did to the crafish.

Feedfoward next time you need you could add more similes.

Writing draft 1

W.A.L.T. To entertain

                                                                    Caving

There was a dim glow in the gaping black hole that was waiting to sallow me up. Glow worms swarmed the walls. I knew that If I was too loud they would trun of there light. I dragged my feet across the damp ground. The cave was as black as the night sky.

 I heard a sound up on the roof. What is it? I thought. I looked up

Learnings partner's comment

Feedback I like the way you have done your personification.

Feedfoward next time you need to go into a bit more detail.

Hunter

Goals

W.A.L.T: Set smart goals.
For this task we had to think of two goals for camp that we want to achieve. We did this task because we are going to highland home camp next Tuesday. Here is a exsample of one that nic did.

These are my goals.

1.I aim to always learn new things. I have chosen this goal because I like learning new this and also I think that alerting new things are fun.

2.I aim to encouraging people to have a go at activities like if they are scared on the rock climb I want to try and encourage them to have a go.

Here is a link to another exsample on the class blog.

Poutama Rama blog

I achived my first goal always learn new things. I learnt that air rifle bullets go blunt after you used them and will not shoot properly if you try to shoot them agian. I picked this goal because there is so much to learn about and if you are not going to start now then when are you going to start learning? I also picked this goal because if you keep learning the same thing you get nothing out of your work.

I achived my second goal to encourage people. I did this by encouraging Ross to go down the abseiling tower when he was scared and wouldn't go down. I picked this goal because people can get scared when They are doing, some activates but all the team has to do is, encourage them to try again.

Comment: I like how you had some examples of how you  competed your goals 

Hunter

Character Description

We are learning how to write a character description using similes.

Dad

He has black, short, shiny, hair. He is medium hight. His eyes are grey like a grey rain cloud. He always wear red or blue clothes and likes them to hang of his body. His arms are as big as a elephants trunk. His skin is slightly tan. Sometime he is mad like if he is at war. His skin is wrinkled like a maze. He wears brown or black shoes. His nose is pointy like a end of a flax.

His voice is so loud it could wake up a person. He is quite clumsy and messy. Sometime his voice is loud and serious but must of the time his voice is soft and friendly. He is very lazy and he likes to sit on the couch. He always make me laugh.

My dad works on a fish and chip shop n Masterton and he retired because he said it was too far away. He is always kind and friendly to other people. On  Wednesday he goes out with his mates.

He has a red motorbike and he loves play soccer so he bought green soccer ball. He plays soccer with me at Sundays mornings. He loves sport.

Plurals

We are learning how to spell words containing plurals.

Here is and example of one that I made.

Book Character day

Today was Book Character day. We had to drees up as a Book Character. We did this to celebrate the relaunch of the hub. I dressed up as Harry potter. Also there was a gust reader. Here is some photos.

Reading

Here is my reading.

Cross Country Reflection

Before The Race

I was really nervous . I had to wait for a long time for my race. I was also cold because I took of my jacket and put it on the rails because James said " Take of your jacket and put it on the rails because you will get hot when you run." . Then we walked over to Nic and he did a warm up with. Then he said when I will blow the hooter and that is when you run.

During The Race

When he blowed the hooter. I ran as fast as I could run at the start. On Rongopai street I started to walk a little bit but I said I have to keep running. When I went past Jeffery he ran past me so I ran even harder. And then at the end I ran even harder because I wanted to beat Jeffery but bailey beat us both.               

After The Race

I was really puffed and my ribs where hurting. I didn't know what I came in the cross country.i had a big drink of water and I put back on my jacket. Then we all headed back to class and had lunch. The end.

Marae Reflection

What did you most enjoy about the Marae stay?
I enjoyed the gorge walk.

What are you most proud of yourself for from the marae stay?
I was proud of myself participating in the activities very well.

What activity did you find the most challenging at the Marae and why? 
I found the song activity the most challenging because it was hard to remember the moves.

What did you learn about Maori culture or customs? 
I learn how to play ki o raha.

Recount

Swimming Sports

On Thursday all the year 3s to 6s had swimming sports at the lido. Last Friday we decided what we wanted to enter.when every one was sitting on the mat Stephen said, "You will need your hat ,your bag and If you need to go to toilet then quickly go." When we got all our things we lined up then we walked outside by the parking space. There where 5 buses outside waiting.

What we went on was a bus that was waiting outside on the driveway. I sat with Joseph. I got in the seat first so I get to sit beside the window. When we got there the first thing we did was we walked to,the 25 meter pool and we sat on the ground in our groups.

In the widths races There were 4 races and the 4 races were kicking with a flutter broad,freestyle,kicking on your back and the last race was backstroke.

I went in the widths so we went first because the lane ropes were taking away so the widths people can go first. David blew the whistle then everyone got in the water it was as freezing as ice! Then david said " ready set HONK! I saw the  people where trying very hard to win.

At the other end of the pool where people who gave out sticks if you came first second and third, and if you came first then you get 3 extra points, and if you come second you get 2 extra points, and if you come  third you get 1 extra point, and you also get one point for taking part. I got first second third.

After the width people went the lengths people went and the lane ropes was put back for them. After you had your race we had to watch of a bit then Christ said follow to the changing rooms, so you can get change he after we got changed we watched the length people go. I didn't go in the lengths and if you do go in the lengths you have to swim 25 meters and that is one whole length.

At the end nic said the points of each house kiwi came frist, kea came second,Kereru came third and tui came last. After when everyone had finshed there event we made sure our spot was tidy. Joseph came with a bag an he said Then we walked out the door and we sat on the grass then Stephen counted all of us to make sure there where 30 of us.

Then we walked over to the Esplanade on a stony track. After 15 minutes of walking we where at a spot where there was a big tree so it made shade.then everyone had lunch when everyone was having there lunch James told us the boundaries. After he told us the boundaries we all went an played. There where a lot of people on the flying fox and the rings.

Then James pushed the button on the honker then it went HONK then everyone came running down to the spot. After everyone was on the grass he said,"Make sure that your spot is tidy." after we cleaned up our spot he said,"Make sure that you have got all you things." Then we walked to the parking lot and he waited for our bus then we got on again.

After awhile we where at school. After we got there we went to the class room and  put our bags on the hooks. Stephen said," Go and run outside for the last few minutes of play. After the bell rang we went back inside the classroom and got out a book a read for 10 minutes then Olivia said," Put your books away and come and sit on the mat."then we did some more learning on the mat. Then we went home at 3:00 PM

I was proud that I came first second and third.

THE END

What Reflection

What: cups, algorithms, book covers, sunglasses, skim and scan text, recount, the dice of dare, flags

So What: iPads, algorithms, toontastic , recount, app on the iPad, homework,

Now What: more multiplication and division algorithms, full cup song, more music,

My Weekend

In the weekend I went to the lido and went to the big pool practice my swimming skills because I have swimming lessons at the 25 meter pool.When I went to the 25 meter pool and I looked at the time it was time for my swimming lesson time.Then after my lesson I had a biscuit because I was hungry.Then I went back to the big pool and practice my backstroke and other things that my swimming teacher taught me.At 8 o'clock I got dressed and went home.

The Tryathlon

Today we had the school tryathlon we had to put our bikes on the court.The tryathlon was on the field.We had to sit on the grass.First we had to put on our hats and get changed into our togs and get a drink.First the year 3 girls went first.then after 8 minutes the year 3 boys went the the year 4 girls went then it was the year 4 boy then I went to the start line we had to do a little warm up.Then Stephen said READY SET GO and all the boys went as fast as they could.We had to run out on the road.Then we had to swim then after that we went on our bikes and raced on the grass I didn't know what I came.Then we got changed back into our dry clothes.When the race was finished we had to put our bikes away and at the bike cage the where lots of bike that I had to put my bike on the grass because I had a stand to stand it up.Then I went back to class and had my brunch and played.

The Weekend

On Saturday me and my mum went to the flea market and brought some vegetables.We also paid money for learning the keyboard on Saturday.I rode my bike up a hill and back 7 times and I also finished my book cover and I had to work in the garden for 2 hours.

On Sunday I rode my bike again up the hill 4 times and I had to do the dishes 2 times in a row. I had to vacuum the floor 2 times because there where lots of rubbish and after awhile there was more rubbish on the floor.

We went shopping at pak n save and we brought ginger and onion and biscuits and fruit and lots of other thing brought $70.71 in total.We also brought lotto for 6 dollars because we brought the lucky dip and we where so close of wining we just needed one more number then we'd win and my mum said we might win it or we might be close to wining and in the end we where so close

Bloging Guidelines

Capital letters in titles
Write in full sentences
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Punctuation goes directly after the last letter
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