Caving
There was a dim glow in the gaping black hole that was waiting to sallow me up. Glow worms swarmed the walls like an army. I knew that If I was too loud they would tun of there light. I dragged my feet across the damp ground. The cave was as black as the night sky.
Russell then the perent that was in charge of caving suddenly wispered " Turn of your lights and listen." I heard a sound up on the roof. What is it? I thought. I stared up at the roof and saw 5 cave wetās looking down at me. As I passed them I came arcoss a small lake and saw the water bubbling and swrling. Is that a fish I wondered. There in the water was a fresh water crayfish. It seemed to stare at me for a second but when I pointed my torch at it slithered away behind a rock. My foot splashed in the ice cold water of a puddle.
I squeezed pass narrow corridor of stone. I shined my light to the left and saw a low ledge then we squeezed pass another corridor of stone. Then everyone in front of me stopped Russell said that we had to crawl in the ledge of stone. Everyone started to crawl thought lf we were in an army. Every 30 seconds or so I would have to go lower. The water soaked my knees and my shoe was bursting with water. When we got out I was as wet as the ocean. We had a cookie and then Russell asked" Who wants to do that agian not the crawling bit." I raised my hand. We went back inside and and explored the dirty damp dusty cave. I found lots more cave weāts. Lots of them. Finally we got out of the cave and I felt the suns rays shine like plasma beams on my back warming it.
The End
By Mitchell Liang
A powerful opening to your story Mitchell. You use a good variety of language features that capture your audience. By using these I am able to get a clear idea of your experience. I look forward to reading your next piece or writing.
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